Ugh. BOTH Colleges Accepted Me
Hey, i need some insight? advice? whatever the word is…
anyway..i applied to two different colleges hoping that one would accept me and the other..well..reject me, only because i didn’t want to choose between the two. well my plan failed and i was accepted into both. so now, im having a hard time knowing which one is the best choice. one is 4 hours away and the other an hour and 10 mins away. i kinda wanna go to the 4 hour away one because it’ll give me a chance to start a new slate. but what it really comes down to basically, besides all the other things is i won’t have a car. so i’ll either have to hitch a ride home with a new person i will hopefully meet along the way or if i go to the closer to home college i’ll hitch a ride with my brother. but i really want to go where God wants me to go, i just don’t know where that is. because in the beginning i prayed for my previoulsy mentioned plan as the way for Him to show me where it is to go. but i guess there must be more to it. any helpful hints? - “Ben”
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PlanetWisdom's Response:(hide)
Hey Ben,
We get this kind of question ALL the time here at PlanetWisdom. Life is full of difficult choices. Choosing which college to go to is a big decision, and a lot of seniors want to know God’s will for that decision. But my answer here may come as somewhat of a shock to you. If God had a definite desire for you to pick one college over another, He would have put it in the Bible (Acts 46:45, Ben shall go to Harvard). Or He would have told you in an audible voice or written it in the clouds. =]
That is why the Bible teaches us wisdom. Wisdom allows us to make good decisions when God’s Word does not tell us exactly what we are supposed to do. Some people believe that God will give us explicit direction in every situation. But look at how Adam and Eve acted in the Garden of Eden. Remember that God told Adam and Eve which tree NOT to eat from. But Adam and Eve didn’t have to pray every day to ask God for a sign so that they could know which tree they COULD eat from. They just ate. And they never sinned until they disobeyed God’s specific command. In the same way, we must always make sure that we aren’t disobeying any of God’s commands. But outside of that, we have a lot of freedom to exercise godly wisdom. There is a lot more that can be said on this subject. For more information, check out Mark Matlock’s book Wisdom On…Making Good Decisions.
So, here is my advice on making big decisions. It is how I decided to go to seminary. First, pray about it. Remember that you are dependent on God in everything you do. Then, go on a fact finding mission. How much do things cost? What are the scholarship opportunities? Your counselor can help you out a lot in this area. And if I were you, I would visit both schools and meet some of the students to kind of get a feel for the campus. Different colleges have way different attitudes. See if one fits you better than the other. Next, evaluate the pros and cons of both colleges. Finally, ask some people you respect for their advice. Show them your research and ask them what they think.
The bottom line is God loves us, and He wants what is best for us. He is not going to trick us or hide His will from us. So pray, read your Bible, and recognize your dependence on God. Then make the best decision you can, and trust that God will guide you.
So…RELAX about college…you are not going to mess up God’s will for your life (Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose,)!
Questions:
- How would YOU reply to "Ben"?
- What questions would you ask about the situation?
- Do you need more information to give good advice?
- Does the Bible say anything about this type of situation?
We won't publish our answer for a week (and we respectfully ask all adults to refrain from posting their comments for a week as well). Why? So you can tell us how YOU would answer this student.
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I’m in love with an unbeliever. Help!
I’ve really been struggling with something going on in my life recently. Maybe you can help me. I’m 18 years old (girl) and there has been a guy in my life for the past several years. I’ve grown to love him and have been in many on/off relationships with him in the past. The reason the relationship has never been constant is because he is not a christian…which always presents a problem. It’s hard because he’s not a bad person. He just simply says that he doesn’t believe in God because it’s how his brain works. He believes that an actual God doesn’t exist and that certain things are just “representations” of a God-like figure and that everything is just coincidence. Confusing? Yeah..I know how you feel ;]
This is really difficult because, for one, I love him very much, and I can even see myself wanting to marry this guy..but…I can’t be in a relationship that isn’t working towards the Lord.
It seems like a stupid question, but…if you had to, for lack of a better word, “convince” someone that God exists…what would you tell them? I have a difficult time trying to explain that what I live for is a relationship, not simply religion. - “Hannah”
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PlanetWisdom's Response:(hide)
Hey “Hannah”,
It sounds to me like you have two issues that you are dealing with, one of which is much harder than the other. Let’s start with the easy one.
If I had to “convince” someone that God exists, what would I tell them?
Well, I personally point to the fact that everything that humankind has ever discovered is finite, limited, and entropic (dying, for lack of a better word). Yet the fact that there are still things in existence says that everything must have had a beginning. In other words, if the universe is infinitely old, but stuff only lasts for a finite time, there wouldn’t be anything left. The universe would have already run down. And we know that nothing that we know of ever comes into existence on its own, which seems to point to an eternal unknown. A god. A designer. Something.
But that is not enough, is it? Sure it is enough to convince someone that there is something higher than us, that there is something else out there. But that is not what you want. You want to convince this guy that Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah. That Jesus is God in human skin, who came down from heaven to restore humanity’s relationship with God, if we are willing. That is not a message that we can “convince” someone of. You can convince him that Jesus was a real person and even that He was crucified. If you want help on that, check out some of Sean McDowell’s books or Smart Faith: Loving Your God With All Your Mind from Mark Matlock. That is a good start.
But the message of Christianity is that Jesus was the Son of God who died and rose again! Paul put it best in 1 Corinthians 1:22-23 when he wrote “God’s way seems foolish to the Jews because they want a sign from heaven to prove it is true. And it is foolish to the Greeks because they believe only what agrees with their own wisdom. So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended, and the Gentiles say it is all nonsense.” You cannot convince someone of “nonsense”.
But all is not lost, or else none of us would be Christians! Listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians “We have depended on God’s grace, not on earthly wisdom. ... It is not that we think we can do anything of lasting value by ourselves. Our only power and success comes from God. ... We are Christ’s representatives, and God is using us to speak to you! We urge you, as though Christ himself were here pleading with you, ‘Be reconciled to God.’” You will never convince this guy that Christ is God. But Christ as Lord and Savior, that is a different story. God will use you and your life to speak the truth of Christ to all the people you come into contact. So, YOU, living the truth and living in the love of Christ, with God Himself living inside of you, are the best “apologetic” for Christ’s death and resurrection that there is.
That brings me to the more serious and much harder problem. You are in an on/off relationship with an unbeliever. I’m sure you know that God has said in 1 Corinthians 6:14 “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil?” Remember that you are a temple of God. “What union can there be between God’s temple and idols?” So, deep down, you aren’t really trusting God, are you? You are trusting your feelings. God says that it is better not to date non-Christians, but your feelings say that it is better to date this guy. You trusted your feelings. And that is totally understandable. All of us as Christians are dealing with distrusting God in some areas of our life. This relationship is one of your areas. Let me ask you this. If God is using you to speak to unbelievers, what is this guy seeing about your God and about faith? Who does this guy think is more important to you: God or him? Is he seeing your deep trust in God to provide you with a Christian boyfriend/husband? Is there anything that you think that you need to change so that he can see Christ more clearly?
You love this guy and that is great, in a way. Love him, but ditch the romance. Or at least put it on the shelf. Why? Because that is what faith is. It is doing something that seems ridiculous because you trust God more than yourself. Even though it is a big step to commit to not dating a non-Christian ever (not even the hottest of celebrity hotties!), it is the right thing to do. God is perfectly good and perfectly faithful. He knows much better than we what is right. And He has said “NO” very clearly. Remember, “what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will give us later.” Romans 8:18
So love this guy, but love him like an unbeliever. And love him straight to Jesus, if he chooses that way. God will give you the strength and spiritual wisdom you need, if you search for it. I’ll be praying for you.
Questions:
- How would YOU reply to "Hannah"?
- What questions would you ask about the situation?
- Do you need more information to give good advice?
- Does the Bible say anything about this type of situation?
- What do you think "Hannah" is doing right? What is she doing wrong?
We won't publish our answer for a week (and we respectfully ask all adults to refrain from posting their comments for a week as well). Why? So you can tell us how YOU would answer this student.
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My Friend has a CRUSH on the Youth Pastor
okay new problem….My friend likes our youth pastor, she says she is in love with him. He asked my sister what he should do because she texts him alot and flirts with him all of the time. My sister told him that she doesn’t know what he should do, and that it will eventually blow over. The only problem with that is that she has liked him for about 3 years, and it hasn’t blown over. I don’t know what to tell her because i have already told her that he knows and he doesn’t like her back. The fact that he could get in really big trouble if she really does anything more than flirt with him, and I am not sure that she wouldn’t actually do something like that, worries me….alot! - “Kelsey”
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PlanetWisdom's Response:(hide)
Hey, “Kelsey”. That is a really tough problem. Let me start out by saying that you are totally right that this is a bad situation. The difference between a junior in college and a sophomore in high school is HUGE! But dealing with emotions can be a very delicate issue, so I talked about your problem with a fellow youth pastor and some of my college-age guy and girl friends for a few hours. Here is our advice.
First, your friend is not a bad person just for having a crush on a youth pastor. Tell her that! In a lot of ways, she has “fallen for” a guy that has a lot of qualities that I wish all girls were wise enough to admire. Qualities like dedication, godliness, and service. Now, if she just loves him because of his body, obviously we need to talk about how to deal with lust, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.
Second, talk to your friend about why she has a crush on this youth pastor. Is she attracted to his character? Or his looks? Or does she just need a father figure to love her? As you can see, this is a complicated situation, but if she realizes that she is not really looking for romantic love, that will change the whole character of their interaction. And it will free her up to have an open, honest conversation with the youth pastor.
Third, the Bible gives us some advice on how to deal with our brothers and sisters who are messing up.
Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your friend about her actions. Talk with her about the possible consequences. Unfortunately, it is all too common for a youth pastor to get romantically, and even sexually, involved with a student. This can cripple a church. Even if it doesn’t come to that, her constant flirting is still a major distraction that keeps your youth pastor from shepherding his students as well as he could. You need to explain that to your friend. It is not just about her! If she rejects your advice, and continues to act in the same way, then tell your youth pastor and her parents. They can have a sit down meeting together and hash this thing out. Will it be embarrassing for her? Of course! But it is much better for her to be embarrassed now than to keep going down this path. Her parents need to know just as much as the youth pastor because they are the ones who have the most authority and influence in her life. If that doesn’t work, and I can’t imagine that it won’t, then it becomes a problem for the whole church. Can you see the wisdom in the biblical approach? This issue is not serious, It will probably blow over with no consequences. It is mostly a matter of her immaturity. When we follow this pattern, we are giving your friend as many chances to grow up as we can without having to embarrass or hurt her. But if she is stubborn and prideful in her errors, then the church must keep increasing its response to *help* her back on to the right path.
I hope that helps, Kelsey. Do you understand what I am trying to say? Do you have any more questions?
Write back soon and tell me how things are going!
Questions:
- How would YOU reply to "Kelsey"?
- What questions would you ask about the situation?
- Do you need more information to give good advice?
- Does the Bible say anything about this type of situation? Can you think of a similar situation that happens in the Bible?
We won't publish our answer for a week (and we respectfully ask all adults to refrain from posting their comments for a week as well). Why? So you can tell us how YOU would answer this student.
